Where The Wild Things Are ♦ Buzz Wholesale

There is a distinct division in the legal high community. On the one side of the fence we have people, a majority I’d say, who are perfectly content to purchase products like Zombie Matter or Flight 300, prepackaged little goodies with an experience ready to go. They take what I would call a fast food approach. I don’t know what’s in my enchirito. I don’t really want to know. What I do know is that it tastes good. I’m content at that.

For some, however, it’s not so simple. There are a small subset of people who, for whatever reason, dare to brave the alphabet soup of the reasearch chemical market, ordering baggies of things with names like 6-APB and N-adamantyl-1-fluoropentylindole-3-carboxamide (STS135) for short. It’s a daunting undertaking fraught with danger, requiring tons of reading, a healthy helping of patience, and a whole world of restraint. For those who feel up to the challenge, however, sites like Buzz Wholesale will let you take your shot.

One must be careful when treading into this venue of the legal high market, as it is very possible to get yourself into some very serious health trouble if you don’t know what you are doing. Be prepared to do a lot of reading and ready to plunk down a few hundred bucks at a go. Places like Blue Light and Erowid are great places to start. And remember, less is always more.

At first blush, Buzz Wholesale seems to be a little fly by night. Their website is a little bit antiquated, as far as the design is concerned, and the general sense of polish we get from more brand oriented endeavors like Code Black and Super Fun Cave is missing. That being said, however, the layout is still quite navigable, and it’s relatively easy for you to find what you’re looking for…assuming you even know at all. For those who aren’t quite down with the alphabet soup or need a good place to start, there are a small selection of blends and mixes ready to go. They have names like Bloom, Bliss, Pulse and Tribe, and chances are you’ve seen at least one or two of them floating around on various sites here and there. This is provided basically to have a) something for everyone and b) a place for people to start. While the exact formulations are a guess, the various comments and forums and resources available will be somewhat illuminating as to what sort of compounds you’re messing with. Once you know that, then you can really dive in.

If you don't know how to read this, Buzz is not for you.

Past the blends, salts, and pills selections of the menu, we find a little link called “Chems”, and clicking on this will bring you to a chemist’s wet dream. You are treated to pictures of molecular structure, compound constituants, mole weight, and everything the budding mad scientist would need to know to create psychoactive miracles in his own kitchen. But, as I said, even the briefest glance at  this storefront should daunt even the most daring. I wonder, would the uneducated choose (±)-1-(4-methylphenyl)- 2-(benzylamino)propan-1-one or 1-[(N-methylpiperidin-2-yl)methyl]-3-(2-iodobenzoyl)indole if given the choice.

Honestly, it’s not quite THAT bad. Many of the products are mostly upfront with their contents and what they’re intended to analogue. Take the listing for the otherwise confusingly named 1-pentyl-3-(adamant-1-oyl)indole  (C₂₄H₃₁NO or AB-001 for short). The description, while only slightly less arcane, gives you a better idea of what exactly you’re looking at:

This research chemical is a popular ingredient to different synthetic smoking blends. First time it was used as a supplement to smoking blends in Ireland and became popular in other European countries.

Being newly designed drug AB-001 hasn’t been studied carefully yet. According to its chemical properties it is similar to A-834. These research chemicals are cannabinoid agonists for CB1 and CB2 receptors. The difference between all mentioned research chemicals is the effect on CB receptors that varies from moderate to very high.

As all cannabinoid family drugs AB-001 is not banned by any Federal Law or Analogue Act. Legal authorities do not control its use. That’s why AB-001 can be easily purchased in our online store. Still its properties should be studied more carefully.

So yea, it’s a weed analogue. This is the kind of thing that gets added as the special ingredient to a variety of incense products. Again, the caveat is that it isn’t for human consumption, but that should come as no surprise that the little blurb is in there. The next thing you’ll notice is the price. I’ve yet to find a sample available in quantities less then 5 grams, and most of them run $30 (or more) per gram. That means that for just a single sample, you’re looking at shelling out at least $120 for just the product. Compound that with the fact that the best experiences are often (so I read, and it seems to apply mostly to the weed analogues) to be had by mixing. So if you want to do that, you’re looking at a second 3 digit price order. THEN you need decent, ACCURATE equipment to handle the stuff. And no, your standard array of kitchen utensils won’t do.

Why? Because the recommended amount for most of the RCs is on the order of a few milligrams. That’s 1000th of a gram. There are 5000 milligrams in that one 5 gram sample bag, and when an appropriate sample is 3-5 milligrams for the average researcher, well, you do the math. This is why accuracy is insanely important, especially with some of the newer, higher potency psychedelia. Even a few extra grains of the stuff can mean the difference between a good experience and your brain melting out of your ears. And really, this is Science! Why not get some neat lab toys to play with while you’re at it?

So then, once you’ve picked your poison, you have to pay for and get it. Here, the lack of polish and pizzazz becomes entirely forgivable. Payment methods, while somewhat limited, cover most of the spectrum. There are no COD options, but that is because Buzz doesn’t ship from a domestic location. If I had to guess, I’d say China, given that they don’t ship for a few days at the beginning of April in honor of Chinese Tomb-sweeping Day. Just a wild stab.

What they do offer, however, are secure payments via Visa (with the same types of protections we’ve discussed before), payment via a service called Liberty Reserve, which looks like some sort of PayPal type setup that handles Dollars, Euros or even grams of gold if you’re a pirate in need of RCs. Worse case you can always go with a good old fashioned wire transfer from your bank. All relatively secure, all with varying amounts of visibility. Thankfully, however you pay, not only do they ship their products in discrete, plain boxes within 24 hours, but they do something otherwise unheard of in the LH industry: they guarantee that you will get your package.

Yea, you read that right. With the exception of buyers in Australia, Sweden, Russia, and Finland (countries with nutty mail privacy laws) Buzz ships with the promise that if something goes wrong or the package never arrives, they will refund or replace your order. To be fair now, a lot of companies will, with a few emails and a genuine reason, at least work with you on a refund or replacement, however due to what I’m sure is rampant abuse and oceans of people lying about not getting their stuff just so they could get more, the number that do so is dwindling. “All sales final” is rapidly becoming the mantra of the day, so to see someone overtly offering a guarantee that is that far reaching is pretty impressive. Although, for the amount of money I’m going to spend on the stuff, I’d damn well better have some assurance it’s going to get to me. And while I would not ever rely on a single source for this, they also include a decently stocked and updated legal section that lets you search even down to the state level to make sure the stuff you’re ordering is on the up and up. After all, incense or bath salts are one thing, but try explaining what you’re doing with a bunch of baggies full of powder with strange chemical names on them to the mailman…

That is the other consideration: the price. This stuff is NOT cheap. It is an undertaking, to be sure, involving a lot of up front cost and a lot of reading and research even before you ever drop a cent. I’d expect a preliminary order to run about 500 bucks, certainly if you’re going for an incense type product, when it’s all said and done. Granted, that 500 bucks will likely last you a long ass time (remember: 5 grams = 5000 milligrams, and the average sample size is a few milligrams, usually), but it’s still a hefty upfront cost.

And you cannot be stupid. I’m serious. After you read this, if you are seriously considering ordering from these people (which I see no reason not to do) then you need to sit down and ask yourself, very seriously and honestly, if you are smart enough to handle it. Making dumb mistakes like putting zeros in the wrong place is one thing, but you have to realize that a missed decimal or a moved zero can, in some cases, kill you. If you aren’t willing to give this stuff the seriousness and time that it demands, then stick with the prefab stuff.

As for Buzz Wholesale, if you can handle the heat, this kitchen is cooking some serious shit. Cannabanoids? Cake. Amphetamines? No prob. Ketamine? Easy. Meth? Why not. There are sample analogues for almost any experience under the sun, and even a few arrangements that are just so far out there as to be their own ballgame.

For those of you who are capable and competent, Buzz represents the first step into a larger, honestly quite exciting and engrossing world. For everyone else, it’s a collection of strange acronyms and pretty pictures that should be treated as a curiosity that should not be poked too much.